Peaceful Parenting is often misunderstood, because it does not look like any form of discipline most of us grew up with. But what then is peaceful parenting?
To discipline means to teach and what peaceful parenting strives to do is to delocalize this teaching experience from the realm of the parent to that of the child. Thus discipline becomes about learning instead of about teaching, with parents acting as an interpreter and a guide. Peaceful parenting is not about imposing discipline, but about internalizing it, by helping your child deal, understand grasp and handle situations and emotions.
Peaceful parenting can only work when parents obtain a profound understanding of their child and also of themselves. Most of the effort in achieving functional parenting will be directed to the avoidance of having to result to disciplinary measures, which implies knowing one’s triggers, both yours and those of your child. In fact, punitive measures are most often generated not so much by the child’s behavior, but by the parent’s response to that behavior or by the parent’s perception of societal responses to that behavior. These mechanisms make punitive parenting completely arbitrary and thus ineffective.
It becomes clear that parenting peacefully is not a one way street. Parenting, in a peaceful manner, is most about communication than anything else. Internal communication of the parent about his triggers, reactions and expectations and communication (verbal or not) with the child about these same issues.
In conclusion, peaceful parenting is about avoiding triggers and when they are activated, about helping each other overcome them, in order to – eventually – learn to deal with ones triggers internally.