Never punitive. Never diminutive.
Purpose: Re-establish Calm, Cooperation, Harmony
In our house, we do not spank, nor do we incorporate isolation, refusal, ignoring, or “timeouts”.
Our daughter doesn’t just do whatever she wants either; when her preferences are damaging, interfering, or otherwise not in her best interest, we intercept.
If behaviors, attitudes, or actions become a concern, the first thing we use is assessment of why (what is the cause) they became a concern. Then we employ understanding, followed by patience and compassion. If necessary, we use a Hold Everything (this means the grownups too), and then we activate our resolution and/or solution superpowers.
I want to introduce you to what our house calls PAWS.
- (Pause – to recreate harmony and re-establish calm and cooperation. Pause to remember to respect, to honor, to approve, to admire… Pause to stop anger response, frustration, impatience, aggravation. Pause to remember the most important thing in whatever has caused the need to pause in the first place – the life on center stage – child, adult, dog, turtle.)
Perspective (a spontaneous shift in viewing portal, not only in complexity and understanding, but in physical height and life experience)
Attention (purposed focus)
Wait (observe. reflect. observe)
Solve (resolve and grow)
Think on that for a few.