What follows is an exercise in ostracism, for the purpose of contemplation on the part of anyone who chooses to read on. \u00a0My only request is that you read the entire post before you form your conclusion.<\/p>\n
These are a series of comments\/responses from the post found here<\/a>.<\/p>\n The exercise shown in this exchange goes to demonstrate the topic in question rather effectively. Please know that my harsh tone is not to ridicule or offend the woman to whom I am speaking, but to illustrate a point, by allowing someone else to do it for me.<\/p>\n _____________________________________________________________________<\/span><\/p>\n I can see a lot of your points\u2026however, I don\u2019t feel timeout is that bad. We use it with our 2 1\/2 year old daughter only for more severe things\u2026hitting, biting. It is very rare she is in time out. However, we don\u2019t yell or scream we simply say, \u201cBummer, no ______ , time out) Then right after Time out we say, \u201cTime out is over, I love you!\u201d and we move on. She hasn\u2019t seemed effected by it negatively at all and like I said, it is rare that she is in time out. I don\u2019t see it as ignoring her\u2026I see it has her taking a couple of minutes to think about her choices and why they were poor ones.<\/p>\n \n <\/span><\/p>\n That\u2019s a bummer that you disagree and don\u2019t choose to review science, or the entire practice, as your daughter experiences it. Tell you what, I suggest you take a few moments, think about things a bit, and when I think you have had enough time to really understand within yourself something that you seem to not at the moment, I\u2019ll continue. Until then, I won\u2019t be responding, nor will I allow anyone else to.<\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n Review science???? Why spanking is better than time out???? First, you need to respect other peoples\u2019 views and discipline as long as they are creating well rounded kids, who respect everyone, are friendly, treat everyone equally, and are raised with great values. If I see parents who do this\u2026I don\u2019t question their discipline procedures. For kids who are disrespectful, mean, etc. I would question that. You can\u2019t judge\u2026.my daughter is one of the happiest kids I know and I\u2019m not the only one who thinks that\u2026.So her minimal time outs have not had a negative effect on her! Keep an open mind! I would never spank her\u2026even though I was spanked\u2026there are other, better ways to discipline!<\/p>\n <\/span>2010\/09\/15 at 8:44 pm<\/a> | In reply to\u00a0Lauren Raymond<\/a>.<\/p>\n T<\/span>hat took you 14 minutes. You are not happy with me, are you? I should now say, I suppose, I have decided (by the fact that I approved your response) that you have had enough time to think about what I have imposed upon you to think about. And, I\u2019ll add that I hope you have a better idea now of what you think, and how you\u2019ll act next time. I respect you! And I see nothing wrong with making you take a couple of minutes to think about your choices and why, in my opinion, they are poor ones.<\/span><\/p>\n Pissed, aren\u2019t you.<\/span><\/p>\n I dismissed you. I singled you out, disapproved, and decided that your thoughts, comments, and existence was such that I could assign and judge your value.<\/span><\/p>\n You still haven\u2019t reviewed the science behind the brain\u2019s response to time outs. But that\u2019s ok, because, unlike your daughter, I cannot force you to do anything. I can isolate and reject you, and I can tell you what you do is wrong, but you\u2019re an adult so, I have no power over you. Or do I? Again, you\u2019re pissed at me.<\/span><\/p>\n 2010\/09\/15 at 9:01 pm<\/a> <\/span><\/span> | In reply to\u00a0Angie<\/a>.<\/p>\n Yeah, I was pissed b\/c you are judging me based on not knowing me and what my situation is and how I raise and discipline my daughter. I\u2019m proud of my husband and I, we are on the same page with raising and disciplining our daughter and we are bringing up a very well-rounded, respectful, happy child! Now do you have power over me??? No. Am I pissed again? No\u2026 I realize what you are doing. I respect you and your thoughts and like hearing other people\u2019s thoughts, ideas, research etc, even if I don\u2019t agree with all of it!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n _________<\/p>\n To conclude this post, with respect being shown to this “Yeah, I was pissed b\/c you are judging me based on not knowing me and what my situation is and how I raise and discipline my daughter. I\u2019m proud of my husband and I, we are on the same page with raising and disciplining our daughter and we are bringing up a very well-rounded, respectful, happy child! Now do you have power over me??? No. Am I pissed again? No\u2026 I realize what you are doing. I respect you and your thoughts and like hearing other people\u2019s thoughts, ideas, research etc, even if I don\u2019t agree with all of it!”<\/em><\/p>\n I am not actually judging you. \u00a0I have questioned you.<\/p>\n I have spoken against something you feel is just fine and you have taken it personally. \u00a0This is a reasonable response. \u00a0But I wonder if you might be interested in substantiating your chosen belief and actions, as not being harmful, in response to my assertion that it is, in fact harmful and damaging.<\/p>\n I am happy that you are satisfied with your choices, that your husband and you concur (which makes it a lot easier,\u00a0definitely), and that you believe your daughter is being properly cared for. \u00a0However, I still do not approve of, nor condone the use of ostracism or any form of manipulation or abuse. \u00a0That’s the funny thing about abuse… we all know it causes damage, but we use it in so many different ways that often it is hard to pinpoint or even recognize, until much, much later.<\/p>\n No, I\u00a0do not know you or your daughter, but I don’t need to either. \u00a0What I do know is that you use this method, you think it’s just fine, you are willing to defend it in theory (hopefully you’ll substantiate, as mentioned), and that you don’t like it when I turn the method around and you are the target.<\/p>\n Your blog describes an episode of your daughter hitting you. \u00a0That same post has your description of your assigned consequence, which was one that she was given a choice to allow to occur. \u00a0She continued hitting you, thereby choosing to test whether you would follow through (the consequence was your refusal to read her a story before bed, as is the routine). \u00a0Then, after enforcing your threat, you left her alone to cry. Your post indicates her father intervened by showing her security, love, and affection. \u00a0She accepted his comforting, accepted the consequence of her action, and everyone got some sleep. _____________________________________________________________<\/p>\n What follows is an exercise in ostracism, for the purpose of contemplation on the part of anyone who chooses to read on. \u00a0My only request is that you read the entire post before you form your conclusion. These are a series of comments\/responses from the post found here. I wrote the original post it in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[54,65,70,86,89],"tags":[51,573,55,56,5,58,59,575,69,577,75,80,83,85,580,582],"class_list":["post-592","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-child-abuse","category-isolation","category-ostracism","category-timeouts","category-value-of-children","tag-attachment","tag-child-abuse","tag-childhood-self-esteem","tag-childrens-needs","tag-discipline","tag-foundation","tag-gentle-and-effective-parenting-resources-support","tag-isolation","tag-natural-parenting-attentive-intuitive-nonviolent","tag-ostracism","tag-punishment-2","tag-science","tag-the-childs-brain","tag-the-value-of-non-violence","tag-timeouts","tag-value-of-children"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.childhoodrevered.com\/sentient\/parenting\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/592","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.childhoodrevered.com\/sentient\/parenting\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.childhoodrevered.com\/sentient\/parenting\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.childhoodrevered.com\/sentient\/parenting\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.childhoodrevered.com\/sentient\/parenting\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=592"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.childhoodrevered.com\/sentient\/parenting\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/592\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.childhoodrevered.com\/sentient\/parenting\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=592"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.childhoodrevered.com\/sentient\/parenting\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=592"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.childhoodrevered.com\/sentient\/parenting\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=592"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n<\/span><\/p>\n
\n<\/span><\/p>\n
\n<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n
\nwoman’s value and autonomy, <\/strong><\/span>I will address a couple of her remarks,
\nin the voice of direct response.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n
\n<\/strong><\/div>\n
\nS O U R C E<\/a><\/p>\n\n
\n<\/strong>That said, I choose my beliefs, actions, and values based upon fact, knowledge, and experience.<\/div>\n